mistrE

pt.1

My thoughts of the moment.

Been reading Tozer, God's attributes. God is infinite and perfect in every way. And He does not have grace, He is grace. I keep on failing of course, but He hasn't given up on me yet... I need to call Kelly. I feel like an ass. Like I just gave up on all of those girls over there in Vienna, showing I didn't have the gall to show my face, or even try to make it back. Seems like everything I do has a selfish motive behind it. Like I have lost God's selflessness since I have tried this whole "self-sustaining" crap. My desire is to live for God's pleasure. Ya know, please him. And get as close to Him as humanly possible, and then when I can get no closer, may this mortal flesh rot back to the dust it came from, and then I will see my Lord face to face. I have strived so hard these past few months to not hold onto things, in the event that God calls me off to some strange land, and every goal I had halfway accomplished, and every relationship that was halfway developed, was cut off from me in one fell of the sword. (Not a literal sword mind you, I’m not expecting martyrdom for at least another ten years.) :p So lately my only successful option has been to search out the Lord and inquire of Him how I should handle each relationship and goal I find. Lol, that sounds so spiritual, but these inquires are have a dependence ration of 100:0 100- God’s coolness/awesomeness to come through to 0- my coolness of making my prayers sound so holy. (Warning: divide by zero error.)

For an actual topic

Your grace will be… a mystery

Forever loved, infinity

To tell the story, eternity

Mystery, it’s quite a concept. Most of the time we have one expectation when it comes to a mystery or something mysterious-- solve it, or explain it, or exploit it. For a mystery seems unattainable, and for some reason anything that is out of man’s grasp he must have. Why is this? I dunno, might have something to do with the garden, a serpent, and a lie. Which is sad, probably the first time God wept over the human race. Oh oh! Ya know, with our human nature, if God would reveal everything about Himself to us, many of us, in our arrogance, would no seek to spend more time with Him, but rather, put Him aside as a name drop, and move on to continue filling our portfolio. Although, this whole scenario is impossible, not only with God being infinite, but if we were to know everything about Him, every mystery in the universe would be answered and therefore nothing else would be pursued. Anyways, moving on from this logical exegesis.

*disclaimer- my theology sucks, and my rhetoric may contain heresy, just doing my best to convey what I see in my minds eye*

*disclaimer of the disclaimer- words suck anyways, and human thought brings down the lofty concept of God, and theological exegesis makes finite explanations of the sufferings and salvation which “the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care,” 1 Pet. 1:10*

An age ago the triune spoke, “Of our image, let us make this man.”

He gave it life and called it good.

Which means my face once looked like His,

But if so I can not recall

For at my first breath, sin was there

To maul the image we shared.

Literally it cut us off, the Creator from the creation.

And so I have never known His image… well not the whole at least.

But guess what? A man, (really God) made out of flesh what we could not!

A mortal body, with an image of God our Creator! You know the story. God became man and made his dwelling among us. And died, but in the process, restored to us His image.

Through the mystery of grace.

So now I get the pleasure of two mysteries, the first of my origin

And the second, of my redemption wh00t!!

The cause in-between, why I went from a perfect image to one needing to be redeemed

Doesn’t need too much explanation, I am very familiar with that failure

Been growin’ up with sin, and rebellion is a familiar advocate

‘nough about that. The mystery lies in grace not sin. I know well enough how to screw up, but grace… grace makes dry bones live, and only God knows how. Ezek 37:3